Saturday, May 31, 2008

Since Her Last Chemo Treatment...

...she is still doing well!! I actually travelled out to be with her for a few days after her last chemo treatment. She is doing SOOO well though! I 'fessed up when I saw her that I was expecting her to be frail and not as energetic, but she really is the opposite. She is going strong, running out to do some errands today. She is taking streroids, and that helps with her energy level. I'm so happy to see that the chemo has not made her really sick yet. Now I am really praying that the chemo will be doing its job and will get rid of the lymphoma. She will be having a test in a couple weeks to see if the lymphoma is responding to the chemo or not.

Another thing... have I mentioned that she shaved her head?? She's SO brave. Her hair had begun falling out, and she didn't want to wait for it to just fall out completely, so she buzzed it off completely. She also planned to let the kids help do it too, so it would not be scarey for them. Let me tell you... if one can still look absolutely beautiful with a shaved head... you know they truly are a beautiful person. Somehow, she can pull it off. Have you seen Demi Moore in the movie GI Jane before?? Miss looks way better than her even, with her bright, beautiful, blue eyes.

I just asked her if she'd let me post a picture. She said yes...if we can try to get a good one. I better start taking pictures, so you can see her for yourself!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Chemo... Round Two...Please Pray!!!

Today my sister had her second round of chemo. She did so incredibly well after her first round. She had a bad headache for a couple days, and had to take some nausea medicine, but she still did very well after that. We are praying that the same thing continues for her this time too. Please join me in praying for that, and more importantly, in praying that this is curing her cancer in the meantime. We would appreciate it so much, and I know Melissa would too!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Sweet Dreams, Little Man

To help us through our painful times, God gives us what we need when we need it. The evening of the same day that Tyler died, Mike and I crossed paths at the top of our stairs. In that spot is the only view of the sunset from our house. There we stood in awe and in tears, thanking God and Tyler for giving us the most beautiful sunset we have ever seen. We were too overwhelmed to even stop to take a picture... but I'm amazed that right at that moment, our neighbors did take a picture. We found out two weeks later when they brought this picture to our door. This is just as we saw Photoshop color enhancing done here. Maybe someday, I'll get someone to remove the power lines for me, but I love it just like this right now. Untouched by man, this was straight from the Master Artist himself...amazing proof that He plans to comfort us and not to hurt us. Although I didn't then and still don't understand the plan, at that moment I felt my first glimmer of peace in all this.

So maybe this shows how God felt when He received my precious boy...

Maybe it was Tyler's way of telling us not to be sad...

All I know is Mike and I both stood there, thanked God, and said, "We love you too, Tyler."

Sweet Dreams, Little Man....

Friday, May 9, 2008

Memorial Service Tomorrow

Tomorrow our hospital is having a memorial service for all the babies and children that passed away in 2007. I'm sure our little Tyler's life will be one of many that will be remembered there. Mike and I both admitted tonight that we are dreading it, although we know we need to and want to go to it. In some ways, time has removed some of the pain, but in an instant our hearts can be taken right back to where we were that cold, December day...holding our baby in his last moments...silence deafening...tears falling... love surrounding his little being... the first time and last time we were able to hold him in his six days. Tomorrow we will be back in the town where the hospital was and will be remembering him and thanking God for even our short time with him.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

As always... God is good!!!

I have great news... results from the PET scan are in. Missy's lymphoma sounds like it is pretty well confined to that one area in her chest cavity and her spleen. And add in yesterday's news that it's not in her bone marrow!! I am soooooo thankul about that! Thank you, God, and thank you for your prayers. THANK YOU to you who have taken a moment to comment here about your prayers that are being lifted up for her. She does read this almost daily, so I know she really appreciates the comments and prayes too!!

She said her first chemo treatment went well, and she's definitely glad to have the first session over with. She did not have any adverse reactions to the drugs, which is obviously good. I think she said that she and Doug went to the store right afterward. Now we are praying that the chemo cures the lymphoma, while not making her extremely sick at the same time.

Again, thanks from all of us for your prayers!

Praising all times!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Pray...her chemo starts

Tomorrow morning at 10 am, my sister will begin her first chemo treatment. I just got off the phone with her, and she said she's really not nervous. She'll just be happy to get this first one over with and out of the way. Please pray that she continues to have peace and not be anxious...or maybe I should ask that you do that for the rest of us, as she seems to be doing fine! Her strength and peace really is contagious for the rest of us. And, we know that God will be the Great Physician taking care of her tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers for her, because obviously they are helping. We appreciate it so much!

Thankfulness... In All Times

This is a topic I have wanted to write about for some time, and just could not find the words to match my thoughts. Please know this is not meant to sound judgemental at the different ways we all handle stress or sorrow. There is not a wrong way...we each handle things in our own personal ways. This is just a revelation that I have had and wanted to share, and I'm sure that I will be re-reading this post later to remind myself of the truth when I am not quite feeling it myself...

As humans, it is easy for us to proclaim in the happiest of times how good our God is. We hold off our praise until we get the answer we want, then we say, "God is awesome!!" What do we do then when times get rough? Do we cower and run or shake our fists angrily in His face? I have been there. I am all for being honest with God...question him all you want. Get angry. Let him know. He knows our most inward thoughts anyway, so what have we to hide? Of course, pain is not fun...losing a child goes beyond words. Finding out my sister has cancer is beyond shocking and frightening. If Jesus can take the good and the bad in His own life, shouldn't I then too??

It seems that the bad times really are the true test of faith. Again, it doesn't mean that we need to always smile and act cheery as we endure hardship. If I believe that God is awesome when my life seems to go so smoothly and perfectly, then I must believe that He is the same awesome God when the storm is rocking my boat. He does not change although my surrounding circumstances have. So if I am ever quick to shout that my God is so good when the seas are calm and beautiful, I hope I will still shout it as the storm rages on. I can honestly say that my sister Melissa has found the strength to do this right her song is "Praise You in This Storm."

As people around me have their families and live out seemingly perfectly smooth days, I hear some say that they are so blessed. And indeed they are. But sometimes, the blessings from God go beyond the known circumstances that meet the human eye. I may not be receiving the specific blessings I want at the moment I ask for them, but I am still so blessed in so many other ways. Sometimes we become so focused on the blessings we are not getting, only to then miss the blessings that we are receiving.

Even now, as I order my son's gravestone, I too am blessed.

As I pray for my sister's chemo appointment tomorrow, I trust God to take care of her because He IS awesome!

I know God lovingly holds our past and our future, because He is good.

He raises us up from our circumstances, and places us high on that even though I see storm waves raging, I am not in them. They are all around me, but I'm not drowning. That's when we can lift our heads from sorrow and say--

"Yes, God, even now... we are blessed."

This post is dedicated to my Little Sis, who exemplifies this attitude that I strive for and inspires me to do the same. Love you, Miss.

*I just found out after posting all the above, that my sister's cancer is NOT in her bone marrow! Thank you, God!! Yes, just as you were five minutes ago, you are STILL good!!