This is a topic I have wanted to write about for some time, and just could not find the words to match my thoughts. Please know this is not meant to sound judgemental at the different ways we all handle stress or sorrow. There is not a wrong way...we each handle things in our own personal ways. This is just a revelation that I have had and wanted to share, and I'm sure that I will be re-reading this post later to remind myself of the truth when I am not quite feeling it myself...
As humans, it is easy for us to proclaim in the happiest of times how good our God is. We hold off our praise until we get the answer we want, then we say, "God is awesome!!" What do we do then when times get rough? Do we cower and run or shake our fists angrily in His face? I have been there. I am all for being honest with God...question him all you want. Get angry. Let him know. He knows our most inward thoughts anyway, so what have we to hide? Of course, pain is not fun...losing a child goes beyond words. Finding out my sister has cancer is beyond shocking and frightening. If Jesus can take the good and the bad in His own life, shouldn't I then too??
It seems that the bad times really are the true test of faith. Again, it doesn't mean that we need to always smile and act cheery as we endure hardship. If I believe that God is awesome when my life seems to go so smoothly and perfectly, then I must believe that He is the same awesome God when the storm is rocking my boat. He does not change although my surrounding circumstances have. So if I am ever quick to shout that my God is so good when the seas are calm and beautiful, I hope I will still shout it as the storm rages on. I can honestly say that my sister Melissa has found the strength to do this right now...as her song is "Praise You in This Storm."
As people around me have their families and live out seemingly perfectly smooth days, I hear some say that they are so blessed. And indeed they are. But sometimes, the blessings from God go beyond the known circumstances that meet the human eye. I may not be receiving the specific blessings I want at the moment I ask for them, but I am still so blessed in so many other ways. Sometimes we become so focused on the blessings we are not getting, only to then miss the blessings that we are receiving.
Even now, as I order my son's gravestone, I too am blessed.
As I pray for my sister's chemo appointment tomorrow, I trust God to take care of her because He IS awesome!
I know God lovingly holds our past and our future, because He is good.
He raises us up from our circumstances, and places us high on that rock...so even though I see storm waves raging, I am not in them. They are all around me, but I'm not drowning. That's when we can lift our heads from sorrow and say--
"Yes, God, even now... we are blessed."
This post is dedicated to my Little Sis, who exemplifies this attitude that I strive for and inspires me to do the same. Love you, Miss.
*I just found out after posting all the above, that my sister's cancer is NOT in her bone marrow! Thank you, God!! Yes, just as you were five minutes ago, you are STILL good!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
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6 comments:
Jenn,
Just wanted you to know that I love you and that I am continuing to pray for you and Missy. I am so glad that it is not in her bone marrow!! Praise our AWESOME GOD!!!
The strength that you both have shown through these most recent storms in life is truly inspiring. I know that our Lord is holding you in His hands and that he will continue to bless!!
God Bless,
Carrie Spiaggi
Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts. You definitely walk the faith you believe the best when you are in a storm. I pray for peace and healing for you and your family.
We walked this walk only 6 years ago. Your story brings back many memories.
Thanks for sharing!
That is awesome that the cancer is not in her bone marrow! (after I posted the comment on the next post. hehe)
God is awesome. =)
I found your blog through Stepping Stones. Your strength & faith is inspiring! This entry reminded me of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9XyoLjFLOo
Thanks so much for your encouragement, everyone! It really means a lot!
Anonymous, I tried adding that song to my playlist, but it's not availabe under that name. I really loved it~ thanks for sharing it with me.
~Jenn
Jennifer,
I'm amazed at the strength God has given you. Your blog was so encouraging to me tonight. I needed to hear some things you shared. Thank you for letting God use you. I pray that He will continue to bring healing to Missy and you. I pray He will continue to give you strenght for each day and continuing peace and joy--even when you don't feel like being joyful. You have blessed me. God has blessed me. Thank you
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